Yesterday, I went in for my yearly, routine mammogram. I made the appointment on Thursday and was surprised when they said they had a couple of appointments available yesterday. I thought, “Great! I can get this over with and not have to schedule it around work!” Little did I know that the appointment would change my life.

If you have every had a mammogram you know that sitting in that little room in the “robe” is nerve-wracking. You keep waiting for them to come and tell you all is well and you don’t have to come back until next year. Except I knew I probably wouldn’t hear those words. I saw the tumor on the mammogram screen. It was an oval-shaped, white blob at the bottom of my right breast. As soon as I saw it, I immediately dismissed it. I thought to myself, “It’s nothing, just a cyst or calcification.”

So there I am sitting in the small dressing room waiting for the nurse to tell me I can go and trying not to be nervous because of the blob. I was thinking about all the things I wanted to look for at the new Hobby Lobby in EastChase. I was ready to forget about work and get lost in the numerous aisles of crafting. In the middle of making my list, the technician opened the door and said they needed to do an ultrasound to look further at the blob. Let’s just say at that moment all thoughts of crafting immediately ceased and I became nervous. I really thought this can’t be happening, but knew that it was.

As I lay in the dark utrasound room waiting on the technician to get the doctor, I had a strange peace come over me and knew it was from the Lord. He was right there with me when the doctor said that the lump she had looked at closer with an ultrasound, now needed to be looked at even closer with a needle biopsy. I’m not gonna lie, I freaked a little at that point. I really don’t like needles and the thought of a biopsy sent me over the edge.

As I dressed and waited for the scheduling nurse to set the biopsy, I wondered how and when to tell my family and friends. Do I tell them before the biopsy results or after? Thanks to insurance, I had to wait until Tuesday for the biopsy and I knew it would be a long weekend. I also knew I needed support so as I was heading to my car, I dialed a friend. When she answered I said, “You are not going to believe this…”

You see, a co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer only a few weeks ago and she is in the middle of making decisions and navigating all the doctors appointments that come with a breast cancer diagnosis. I really thought this couldn’t be happening to both of us. I mean our offices are right next to each other. What are the odds?

As I talked to my friend, she was just what I needed, calm and the voice of reason. She reiterated that it could be nothing and not to borrow trouble before I knew something definite. I still couldn’t turn my thoughts off, when I got home my mind was racing with all the different scenarios of what if it is cancer and what would I do. I thought back over to the very surreal afternoon and I began to pray.

I prayed fervently that it would be a benign cyst and not cancer, but I also prayed for strength and the ability to lean on and trust God if I had to walk through this valley.

I told my dad this morning. He was going to come on Tuesday to help me put my Christmas decorations back in the attic. I knew I wouldn’t be able to lift anything after the biopsy, so I had to let him know. He was supportive and asked if I wanted him to go with me. I love my dad. He is an amazing man and I’m not sure where I would be without him.

I am trying not to think about the biopsy on Tuesday and what the results could mean. I am focusing on the Lord and His amazing faithfulness. I know that He holds my hand and that He’s got this no matter the results.